Saturday, March 13, 2010

What a Day!

It has been an interesting day here at my house. I went to bed mulling over some "stuff" that I had happen to me that led me to quit running the church quilt group. Some emails were sent to me that helped me with this decision. I have been the leader of the POKE-N-STAB quilters for the last 5 years and until recently have enjoyed it tremendously. I had been thinking of stepping dwon, felt God leading me in a different direction. I was not sure. (Or maybe I was but I wasn't listening like I should have) As often happens when He wants you to go another direction "things" will keep happening that eventually leave you no other choice (unless you are a complete dunderhead, which I am NOT). Mind you the *suggestions* were offered in the "spirit of cooperation" all the while saying things that hurt my feelings. Apparently "feelings are facts" according to my email. I was surprised to learn this. I thought facts were facts? Maybe science should be based on feelings, eh? Anyway, why is it when someone says hurtful things they try to make it like that's not what they are doing? I really hate that. Just have the courage to be honest. The last thing, kind of the icing really, was that one of the women sent her chastisement of me to the entire group! Gosh, that was special. If you are going to take me to task, please do it privately, have that much consideration for my feelings, at the very least.

I was told that I had treated the adult women like children when in actual fact they sometimes acted like that. I feel like I have been a good leader and for the most part I will miss many of the women in the group. I will not miss the stress of always having to have something ready for everyone to do, and never having time to work on anything I wanted to do, for 5 years. I really debated about writing about this but I will say this to anyone that is reading from the group, IT'S MY BLOG AND I CAN WRITE WHATEVER I WANT TO. If you don't like what I write don't read it. Please, don't email me about it either because I will not send you a nice email back. My feelings are deeply hurt and you would be smart to just leave it alone.

There now, I feel better and can go on and tell you how wonderful the day was today (if you are still with me! You are still with me right?) I went to the gym this morning for my weigh in and I lost 6.6 pounds!!!!! This moved me up to 2nd place in the weight loss challenge!! Now there is something to feel good about. See I will now have one more night a week for the gym too!

I came home and did some housecleaning and laundry (YUCK), then I decided to work on the quilt I had cut out for the Veterans Home. It was supposed to go through the church, but I didn't want some poor veteran to lose out so I worked on it. I am at the stage of trying to decide...Border or no border. What do you think? I think I know what I will do but would like your opinions and no I don't have other border fabric so it is this:
Border
or this
No Border 02
So please let me know what you think about the border.

I appreciate having all my blogging friends out there for support. I would never write mean things to you all. I am going to go and finish up the laundry and get some dinner going. May have to pull some fabrics for another quilt tonight too. Someone I know is having a baby and I found a pattern that would be perfect. The shower was today (I was supposed to be at the church) but I think it will go quickly so maybe I can have it done before the baby arrives.
Thanks for listening!!

27 comments:

Laurie said...

Hang in there sweetie! Now you will have some free time to do some things that YOU enjoy! It's not nice when people are mean - let it go and know you did your best :)
Laurie

Quiltluver said...

Good for you on the weight loss and your decision. Life is too short to have negative people in your life, especially when it involves something you enjoy as much as quilting. There are other quilt groups, blogging communities, etc. that would welcome a positive person like you.

I like no border...

Red Geranium Cottage said...

Way to go Pam!! I am so with you. Tell it like it is and let em know that they hurt you. I'm so tired of BULLIES pushing around others. If they had something to say they should have been big enough or should I say "Christian" enough to take you aside and let you know. Not send it to the whole group. You are so thoughtful and kind to your friends and we all know that. And we are what counts anyway right? lol Hang in there and keep your chin up!!!! And your right, now look at all the free time you'll have to do things you want to do.
HUGS!!!!
I like the border......

Allie said...

Ack.....well, all I can say is, consider the source. There are people whose opinions mean a great deal to me, and others that do not - they may hurt, but it doesn't sting as much. And I really have to consider the source. Chances are this is a person [or persons] who talk like this about other people too - I don't care to know them. I'm glad you finally made the decision. And no, feelings are not facts, they're feelings. If feelings ruled, nobody would travel, because the earth would still be flat. Hello.

And SO excited about your weight loss! Congrats on having another free night for the gym too - just think, you can work off stress instead of adding to it.

I love the quilt, and I think no border. I think the fabric is too light to make a good border.

I'm proud of you girl, for everything!

Diva Kreszl said...

congratulations on the weight loss! sometimes God has other plans for us and it doesn't really matter how your time was freed up, just that it was, now you can start some new adventures!

Denise :) said...

Your weight loss is *awesome*! And just think; if you've been stressing a little over this group, and stress deters weight loss . . . what might the next weigh-in bring?!?!? LOL! *Hugs*! :)

Jeanne said...

Sorry to hear you've been having troubles with your group. I think you made a good decision to leave. If that was my quilt, I would add the border. Love your header picture.

ytsmom said...

Good for you and your courage to let go! I'm in my 2nd year as guild president, and know what you mean about time to do you own stuff. I could go on, but you know exactly where I am coming from !! Happy sewing on whatever you want!

allsewnup said...

You have to hand it to some people!
They don't know a good thing when they've got it but you can bet your shrinking backside that they'll be the first ones belly aching for someone else to take over because chances are they won't. Their loss is going to be someone else's gain. You go girl and don't look back. Cherish the good times and put the rest where it belongs! Something's going to "spring" up from where you'll least expect it.
WooHoo 6.6lbs!! Now there's something to put a big cheshire smile on your face.

Carolyn

bettyp said...

Church people can really be nasty ...thats why I don't belong to any chuch . I am a Christian just can't stand all that come with being part of one . You have done the right thing . Good luck to you!!

Ariane said...

Sometimes bad things happen to push you in a direction you didn't expect. Then you realize that it made you go in a better direction. Congratulations on you weight loss. That is amazing!! I like the border on the quilt. Stay strong!! It's time for you to take care of yourself.

Anonymous said...

Pam,
Sorry, I don't like the border, but then what do I know? Way to go on the weight loss, you are doing great. Onward to better Tuesday evenings.
Raw

Lucky-1 said...

I like it better without the boarder..

Congrats on your weight loss too:D

About the other...YOU GO GIRL!!!

Make yourself something special and enjoy the freedom:D

Sherrill said...

I like it either way, border or no. So I'm no help! lol That's too bad about the church group--CRIPES, that's annoying! Yep, sometimes you just gotta walk away. It's not worth the aggravation. GOOD GRIEF, you're going like gangbusters on the weight loss. WTG!!!

Shortyz Quilts said...

I love the simply quilt How about a gold border. But then why would you ask your gonna do what you want to anyways....... Right??????

Sam said...

Oh Pam, it's kinda like the sixties, it's over. Stay true to yourself for the next three days until the emotional shock wears off and I'm positive by then you'll be glad they took the decision out of your hands and freed you from a responsibility without reward.
I much prefer no border, the quilt is so elegant as is. -- Sam

dianne said...

well ... you already know how memyselfandi feel about the whole PnS thing

awful as it may be, i think the only way through is to embrace the pain and then let. it. go.

uhmmmm ... no border ... red binding

Anonymous said...

Yuck... mean passive aggressive churchladies. Hold your head up high, you did good things for the group, and definitely put in your time! Just send and anon. email to whom ever started this mess saying God told me to tell you that he/she thinks you are a 'Slacker'. LOL...I personally would definitely have to bit my tongue.

Well done on your decision, and your weight loss!

I would say 'NO BORDER' LOL, Navy binding :) It is a really sharp looking quilt!

XX

Crispy said...

Oh Yeah, you gotta love those good ol' Christian ladies....NOT!! Hooray, for being away from that bunch!!

I vote for no border, the blue just doesn't do it for me IMHO.

Kudos on the weight loss, as least the flu was good for something LOL.

Crispy

katieD said...

I prefer a border but maybe not the fabric you showed, it sort of acts like a full stop if you know what I mean! You already have the moral high ground in the church thing but if you feel like underlining it you could send a group email telling them all you will pray for them! That should really undeline things and probably irritate without leaving an opening for further discussion!!!!!! But I am not as saintly as I should be that's why I am a 'practising' Christian, I just dont seem to get better!!!! chin up chicken

Pat said...

Congrats on heading in a *new* direction! you should be able to enjoy your quilting time :)

I would go with no borders! and

WAY TO GO with the weight loss/exercise plan :)

Needled Mom said...

Often times it is things like that which is what it takes to jolt us into moving on to better places. It is such a shame that it has to come to an end like that, but I know that many doors will now open for you.

Congratulations on the weight loss.

Yvonne said...

I agree with Denise. Stress keeps the weight on so it's good to get rid of as much as you can (stress and weight)! I like the border.
Yvonne

Maggey and Jim said...

Sometimes it is so hard to listen to God and to obey him but when we do it is amazing...Prayers to you and hope things get better and this is put behind you.. I like the border..
Maggey

Annemiek said...

You know I'm not religious but after reading the first part of your post I thought only one thing: AMEN! (and good decision, it was high time!)

Mama Koch said...

Anybody with such a purdy orange cat is a good person! Hang in there and devote your free time to something else.

I liked the suggestion of a gold border. Do you have any of that in your stash?

Cindi said...

I too was in your shoes, only as a member, not a leader. I was part of an extremely large guild that was full of cliques. I joined to meet friends with the same love as me and even people I KNEW didn't talk to me at the meetings. I never felt welcome and after about the 5th meeting let them know. They didn't know WHAT I was talking about - go figure! I don't have another guild near me so I'll just quilt on my own.

Give a thought to starting your own guild, or at least a small group with people you know and admire. There are others in that guild who feel the same way you do, I'm sure. You'll be surprised at how fast it will grow.

Oh, and I like no border on your quilt. What a great quilt - there's a Vet who's going to love it!

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