Thursday, June 30, 2011

It's Never Good When The Phone Rings At 3am

My phone was ringing at quarter to 3 am today.  I was upstairs and it was downstairs.  It wasn't a ring from one of my kids, whew, but it was ringing.  Do I race downstairs or just let it ring?  How likely is it to be a wrong number?  DH made the decision and went downstairs to see who had called.  He came upstairs and said, "It's your dad's number".  CRAP!  That's about all I had to say about that.  How can that be good?  So I went downstairs and called it back.  My sister answered and told me that she called 9-1-1 this morning for my dad.  CRAP!  She heard him bump into a door around 2am and got up to check on him.  He was lying on the floor in the bathroom, very weak and I'll spare you the details, suffice it to say he needed help.  So she called the neighbors and then called 9-1-1.  Why didn't she call 9-1-1 first?  Who knows, but we will be having that talk tomorrow when I go there.

She did not know what hospital he was being taken to so I told her to call me back.  Ok, a little bit later she called and told me.  I went back to bed.  CRAP!  Who can sleep now?  My dad is 84.  My younger sister lives with him, she has Cerebral Palsy.  They take care of each other.  My older sister is retarded and schizophrenic, with a touch of Bipolar.  I know that he is not going to be around forever.  I am dreading the day all this responsibility lands in my lap.  There is no one else to take care of them but me.  I keep saying, "Just 10 more years, dad, just hang on."  In reality? I don't want to lose him ever, I love him so much, but I also don't want to take over my sisters care.  I guess no one asked me what I wanted to do right?  We do what we have to and make it work, don't we?  That's what we do.  That's what I will have to do.

I called the hospital at 5am and found him.  He answered, "Holly"?  "No dad, it's Pam."  "How did you find out about this?"  I laughed.  I told him Holly called me.  I asked him if he wanted/needed me there today.  He said "No you shouldn't drive here.  It's a long drive and you'll be tired."  LOL, I'm already tired.  He is in good spirits and seems ok for the moment.  Concerned that he was going to miss his golf date with a friend today.  Typical. 

They will admit him and run tests and ultimately probably not know what really happened.  He is aging, he probably doesn't eat like he should and he was out late to a baseball game with my sister last night.  I suspect his body just couldn't take so much at one time.  He told me they are thinking that they will discharge him sometime tomorrow.  He has someone to stay with my sister tonight.  He was concerned about not having clothes for tomorrow or a way home.  "Don't worry dad, I'll be there to bring you clothes, pick you up and make sure you get home.  I'll stay with you and Holly and make sure you guys are ok."

I love you dad.

Don't worry, I got this!  ~XOP~

20 comments:

Cherry Red Quilter said...

Oh baby what a load you are bearing!!! I hope your Dad gets back to normal real soon and I hope you get the ten years you would like and a few extra but I am sure you will cope when the time comes. Blogland will be here to cheer you on and encourage you. All the best.

Crispy said...

Oh Pam!! I hope all is well with your Dad!! It did make me laugh at him missing his golf game LOL.

Crispy

grendelskin said...

Keep strong for just this little bit of now, that's all you need to do. Your Dad sounds like he's at least lucid, which is a really good start.
In my family we have a rule: if someone's dead, you wait until morning to call. So middle-of-the-night means it's bad and you have to leap, but at least you're not up when there's nothing you can do to help.

Denise :) said...

Glad your dad is in good spirits. Y'all will be in my prayers. :)

Mommarock said...

You are a sweet woman.. Hugs to you!

karenfae said...

sorry to hear of your dad and that your sisters aren't in the best to care for him as he cares for them. I have gotten more calls than I like the past 5 years concerning my mom (86) but I have a sister capable of caring for her - it must be rough for you.
Karen
http://karensquilting.com/blog/

Stray Stitches said...

I keep you and your family in my prayers. Safe travels and I hope whatever happened with your dad is something minor.

dianne said...

my sister and i share the responsibility for our mom ... this much i know - it is too much for one person to bear

Katie M. said...

It's always scary, no matter the age, when you're not right there with them. They are lucky to have you.

Charity said...

I hope that it was just fatigue that got to your dad. But in regards to caring for your siblings, please contact your countys MH/MR services. There is alot that can be done to keep them independent, but it is also helpful that they are aware that one day there will be a need. I probably sound pushy, but I have a son with Down Syndrome and I know how important it is to have services there for when you need them.

Allie said...

((((((Pam))))))) I'm glad he's ok for now, hopefully he was just tired - I am praying for you all!

Natalie said...

((hugs))

Yumm yumz by patticakes said...

It is always so hard when we go from child to parent for our moms and dads - just know you are on our minds and in our hearts!

Jen said...

That's a lot of family stuff to carry! I'm glad he's okay and that you live close enough to drive there. Hope he recovers well and you both get those 10 more years. *big hug* keep strong.

Keep Stitchin' said...

Pam,
Oh my heart goes out to you and your family! I'm glad all is well, but I completely understand this one! My mother is 81 and lives alone. In general she is in good health, but I have been left in charge of her healthcare. I used to be in charge of her finances and running her to appointments, but with four kids graduating, getting married, moving and having babies, this no longer was practical for me, so a couple of my sibs stepped in to help in some areas. Anyway, I haven't had a late night phone call in some time, other than for a child who was about to give birth, but I know what you mean! Who can sleep after all that, and then I wonder who is going to help my brother out someday? He's living on his own and doing okay, but he's difficult to deal with and I wonder who will be responsible for his care one day?? Hugs to you! Trudy

Deb said...

Oh, my heart goes out to you!! I hope things go well with your father!

Deb from clutteredquilter.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Hey Hon! Gottcha covered on the prayer front and I can relate to your situation. You might as well be an only child like me! Sending Hugs, Love and Happy Thoughts to You.....Dix

Stitchin' time said...

Hugs Pam, glad your Dad is ok. Lol, shame about his golf! Your sister was probably upset and she got the call order wrong as she wanted her neighbours support while she waited for the ambulance. Don't be too hard on her. Hope you manage an early night and lots of zzzzzz's.
Cheers, Robyn

Sara said...

Oh man! Sorry to hear that Pam. I have a younger brother that has health issues and lives with my dad too. I always wonder (like you) when the day will come when I have to take care of my brother,yuck! I love my brother of course,but to have him live with us----I don't know.

I hope you get it all straightened out Pam and I will keep you in my prayers;)

Chris said...

That's a lot on your shoulders. I hope everything works out OK. You and your family will be in my prayers :)

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