My Dad

In case you have been wondering where I have been I have had a jam packed schedule with my dad.  I didn't say much but he went into the hospital on Friday of Memorial weekend and was discharged on Tuesday.  He went in with a UTI and was released infection free, but mentally, much diminished.  It was at that time I decided that I needed to call in Hospice.  I did not want him going into the hospital again if he got another UTI, which he seemed to be getting more and more frequently.  I went to see him every day after I got home from NC.  On Sunday I needed him to sign some papers for me.  He was no longer talking and was not certain what I needed him to do. His breathing was labored.  I knew this was the beginning of the end.  On Monday he was in bed and did not wake up for my visit.  Tuesday I went with my hubby to GR to plan his funeral, as I was certain he was not going to make it through the week.  What an experience it is to do that!  On Tuesday my daughter brought her cat over to see my dad and even though he did not wake up, when she put his hand on Lenore, my dad started petting her.  I can hear him saying "Hi kitty kitty" in his head as he did that.  He loved cats, just like me.

I went over alone on Wednesday and spent a few hours just holding his hands and stroking his head and talking to him.  I told him that if he was ready it was OK for him to go.  I promised I would take care of my sisters (both handicapped) and that we would all be alright.  I told him that he should go play gold with his dad and Jamie, that he should not hang out here even though I would miss him like crazy!  It was the most difficult thing I have ever had to do and also the best thing I have ever done.  My last gift to my dad that gave me so much in my own life.

My dad passed away, peacefully in his sleep on Thursday night.  I just missed being there.  I had an appointment that I needed to keep and afterward had this urgent sense that I needed to get to my dad's place.  I think that must have been as he was leaving.

RIP dad, I love you and will miss you more than you can know.  I know you are happy, golfing, snowmobiling and talking God's ears OFF!!

I love you dad!
We will not mourn your loss we will celebrate your life!