Wednesday, December 08, 2010
What to do, What to do?
Did you ever watch a situation unfold and not really be able to do anything about it? I fear a dear friend of mine is being taken advantage of. Do any of you have "friends" that seem to just be one sided friendships? They never call you, they always ask favors of you without returning them, that sort of thing? I think I'm seeing that happen to one of my friends. I have told her of my observations so she is aware and I think she agrees that it is happening. So my question to you, dear readers is, what do you do about it? I think she wants to remain friends but friendship should be a give and take not just a take. I just feel so bad when I see someone I care about being taken advantage of. Do any of you have any suggestions??
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10 comments:
Sometimes we have these people in our lives and we know what they are and allow it in hopes it will develop into something more. It usually doesn't but I usually feel that its worth the chance if I'm doing this. And like I tell my husband...its not being taken advantage of if I'm giving of whatever it is freely and with open eyes. Its a choice I'm making. And I'm not looking for a return on what I do.
It is probably just a "season" in both of their lives and the friendship will not stand the test of time. But then again...maybe it will be something more. Each of us has to determine where the cut-off line is and your friend has not reached it yet.
Just love your friend and be the wonderful friend youv'e always been. No doubt you are one of her joys!
One thing I've learned over time is that no one can take advantage of another without their "permission". She needs to be strong and walk away, for her own physical health and emotional well-being.
I agree with Mrs. Goodneedle. People need to learn how to say no and not feel guilty about it. Thank goodness she has you.
We "A" type people usually have no problem walking away from that type of person. Since your friend is aware of what is going on, she will have to decide when she's had enough, you can just be close by for support.
Crispy
I know that it is hard to watch a friend being taken advantage of and hurt. You have done your part and told your friend how you feel. She is a big girl and will have to stand up for herself when she is ready. Beyond that, you can be there for support and encouragement. I hope everything works out for the best. Take care and God bless, Cory
Your honesty and compassion are admirable. I have no suggestions for your friend, but she is fortunate to have you.
My husband has a friend who is like that. I limit my interaction with him because I don't like the one sided relationship they have. My husband is careful how much he gives and he is aware that he is not getting back. He told me that "Jim" needs him. There are many things that have happened in "Jim's" life (divorce, horrible parents, loss of jobs) My husband says that we all can't just give up on people. We need to give care to those around us. I am proud of him. I can't do it.
What would happen if we decided to never be friends with people who don't give to us equally? Would we have any friends? I think a lot of people would unfriend me.:)
Be the support that you are. That is enough.
I think the best thing you can do is pray for her. You've done the right thing by making her aware of it, now it's her call....I have some friends like that myself, they call and talk over their problems and never ask how I'm doing. That's ok. They don't have many other friends....if I can help one hurting heart, that makes me happy. As for favors, you reach a point where you just don't do them anymore, or at least less frequently. Just pray for your friend and be there. You're a good friend, sweetie.
This is a hard one. Sometimes people have a period of time in their lives where they just seem to need more than they can give. If that's the case, then your friend might sense it and is just being kind and generous. However, other people are just takers. If this is the case, your friend must find a way to manage the friendship or end it. The only thing you can do is be a really good friend to your friend. In the end it's her decision on how to interact with the other lady. Maybe the other lady needs to be taught how to be a good friend - incredibly a lot of people just don't get it. Hope this helps.
Everything I had to say has almost been said - all good advice. Don't get in the middle of it. Your friend is probably 'getting' something out of it also. When it gets to be too much, she sounds like she will know it and then you will be there for comfort. It's hard to NOT caution her more than you did.
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