Thursday, October 12, 2017

Roy and Maggie's Memorial

I have not written about the goodbye I was part of last week.  
I believe you need some back story.  
When I was taking care of my dad back in 2014 things were getting much to difficult for me to do long distance.  I needed him to move here (3 hours closer) 
to be nearby so I could care for him more easily.  
I searched and searched for a solution.  
I finally found an AFC home.  I did not know they did those for the elderly. 
 It was someone's home where they care for elderly people.  
He would have 24/7 supervision while having his own room.  
There was  living room and they cooked all his meals.  
The home I found near us was perfect!  

That's where we met Roy and Maggie.  
They were an elderly couple living in the home when we moved my dad in there.  
We bonded with them almost immediately.  
Maggie loved cats and Roy flew in the army aircore.  
They had one son that had passed away many years ago and the only people that came to visit were Roy's younger brother and SIL from NY, but not that often.  
So everyday when I went to see my dad I also visited them.  
My dad passed away in June of 2014 and I could see it on Roy and Maggie's faces,
 "What about us now?  Are you still going to visit us?"  
Well, of course we would still visit them!

While the house remained there I went every week once a week to visit.  
I taught Roy how to use Google Hangouts and he would talk to me online every day. 
 Then one night Roy called me to say that if I wanted to see Maggie one last time 
I should come right now. 
 We drove over and the house dad tried to turn me away but Roy told him that he had called us.  
I went in and held Maggie's hand and talked to her for a bit.  
I tried to go but she grabbed my hand tighter and opened her eyes and looked right at me as if to ask me to stay, so I did.  
Eventually, I was able to slip out and not long after she left this Earth.

Roy was devastated!  
He loved her so much.  
Then the owners moved the house a ways away and our visits got less frequent, but we still talked online every day.  
He would send me funny videos and I would send him pictures.  
Then the house moved again, a little closer to where we live and we visited a little more frequently.  
I could tell when he needed a visit by the way he talked when he messaged me.  
We celebrated his 96 birthday this year with his brother and SIL and his favorite, cherry pie.

A few weeks ago the owner messaged me to tell me that Roy had gone into the hospital.  
We went to visit right after church the next day.  
Roy looked awful and sounded even worse.  He was very happy to see us though.  
We had a nice visit and we left.  
On the following Thursday Dave (the owner) texted me and said if we wanted to see Roy we should come the next day.  
He was getting out of the hospital and going in to hospice at home.  
We were getting ready to leave for the Outer Banks for our vacation and 
we just could NOT make it over.  
I called him and told him we loved him and we would see him when we got back 
(although I did not think he was going to make it that long). 
 I received the text the next day saying that he had joined Maggie.

So last week there was a memorial service for them.  They had both been cremated.  
The ceremony would be military and at the veteran's cemetery.  
I left work early and we drove to Holly for the memorial.  
The cemetery was a beautiful place. 
 Two of their friend showed up too so the four of us said our goodbyes.  


There were swans in the pond and Sand Hill Cranes walking around the grounds.


The ceremony was short but touching.


This is all the closer we could go for the actual inturment.



So beautiful and yet so sad.  It really brings home the sacrifices made by our military.


I received the flag, which in this case was a token as the real flag had been sent to his family.
It was no less moving for me as I had received the real flag at my father's memorial.  
If you have never watched you should do so.  
Receiving the flag was one of the most difficult things I have done in my adult life. 
 I was so humbled.


So this sums up our relationship with Roy and Maggie and our final tribute to both of them.

RIP Roy and Maggie.  We will miss you both so much!

~XOP~


9 comments:

Robin Klein said...

God bless you for the giving of youself to others. That is the true meaning of Christianity. Thank you for all you do.

Ros Schilk said...

Great story Pam! They probably blessed you as much as you blessed them!

Shasta Matova said...

That is so wonderfully caring that you continued to visit this couple, and able to send them off at the cemetery. It is unfortunate that the family couldn't make it to the funeral.

Lesley Gilbert said...

What a moving story - thanks for sharing. I watched the video - wish it had been longer as I would have liked to see what happened at the end of the unfolding. The U.S. has such respect for their flag.

Nancy A: rangerer@sbcglobal.net said...

Thanks for sharing. You are right about the ceremony being moving. My husband received the flag from his father's ceremony since he was the only son. I really fought the tears.

Nancy A: rangerer@sbcglobal.net said...

Where do you live. I lived in Barrington, IL until I went to college. Then my husband and I lived in Champaign, IL for 52 or 53 years. However, 4 years ago we moved to Alabama to be near our oldest daughter because we knew it would be easier for her if we were close when the time comes that we need help.

Alycia Quiltygirl.com said...

This is a great ( yet teary) story - thank you for friending them and making them your own - what a great heart you have

DianeF said...

Oh Pam, what a moving post. You are so caring and it's wonderful that you were able to be a part of Roy and Maggie's life. Bless you.
Diane F in CO

Karen said...

What a beautiful story. Yes, it is sad but the spirit of kindness shines through it.
I am single and probably won't marry. I hope there will be a Pam Lincoln in my life in my later years.

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