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Sunday, February 27, 2022
Musings While I wait
Friday, February 25, 2022
The Day My Life Changed Forever
I snapped this selfie on February 16 while waiting for my routine mamogram. I wanted to keep this appointment and then we were set to leave for NC for the next 3 months to visit the kids and Avery.
After the mamogram I had to wait to make sure the pics were ok. They called me back for an ultrasound. They found a mass on my left breast and wanted a closer look. Due to how it looked, the radiologist and ultrasound tech were pretty confident it was malignant. I went in on the 23rd for a biopsy. I got a call from the radiologist today that the mass is malignant. It was described as an
Invasive, mixed ductal lobular carcinoma level 2/3 (Intermediate). That's it. That's the extent of what I know so far. The radiologist will refer me to the U of M Breast Cancer center where a team of doctors will work with us to determine the course of treatment. I have no family history. I do not have the breast cancer gene.
This feels so surreal. Like how can this be happening to me? I lost all that weight, changed my eating, gave up alcohol, and try to walk most days. I am feeling a little shell shocked. One minute my life was GREAT and now my life is in limbo. I am generally a very optimistic person and am trying to remain so right now. I expect surgery will happen first and I am guessing it will be followed by chemo and radiation. I think they will have to look at the lymph nodes to see for sure.
How are you "supposed to " feel? I'm sad, scared, angry and anxious. It feels like I woke up in a nightmare. I know lots of people go through this. I know treatments are the best they have ever been. I know we caught it as early as we could (nothing on last mamogram a year ago). In my head I can rationally tell you all those things. In my heart I just want to throw up and hide in a hole. I won't of course, being that I have no large holes to hide in and all but maybe in the spring.
Chris is worried. His mom died from cancer. I can't even imagine how he must be feeling. I don't want to talk to anyone, like at all. People ask me things I can't answer and when I say I don't know they ask the same thing in a different way and guess what? I STILL DON'T KNOW! Know what that does? It makes me even more worried and upset and really angry. I know they are trying to process too but at this point it's all I can do not to go try to dig that hole in the frozen ground!
I debated writing this post at all but I think I will keep a record of my journey here. It it is too much for you I understand. I will post other things as I can. I actually started a new quilt yesterday. It's called Sparrows. I think I will work on it this weekend to keep my mind out of digging that hole!
I suspected this was how things were going to go so we drove to NC from Thursday to Monday. We had an amazing time. It was good to see the kids and Avery. I got to see my friend Kailie too. It was WAY too short of a trip but good for my soul. We stopped at a place called Glen Ferris for lunch on our way home to MI. We drive by it and always talk about it so this time we stopped. The food was terrible, LOL. The pork chops were the worst, very dry, but the company was excellent and the view spectacular.
My oldest daughter told me she is due for a hair cut so if I wanted she would save her hair and we could mix ours together and make me a wig. That, that right there folks is love!
I hope I have not bummed out too many people. Please pray for me and for my family. I will be updating here and on IG as I know more.
Tuesday, February 15, 2022
Quick Quilt Retreat
The retreat was at Creative Passions.
You can see my set up on the right.
Thursday, February 03, 2022
I got the Economy Fox quilt finished, but only snapped this picture.
I love that border!
It took me so long to finally cut into it and then to try to get it to line up (somewhat).
I have a few more things to share, but need to take some pictures.
Wednesday, February 02, 2022
Baby Burp Cloths
Sparkle flowers 1 available
If you are interested in purchasing some please message me at firstname.lastname@example.org