Sunday, February 06, 2011

Incredibly Sad...so so sad

I had a topic to post about but then I got a call from my DD2. After almost 5 years, she and her BF broke up today. The worst part is that is neither of their faults, not really. It's the distance. He is so far away and she just can't handle that. So sad. He was part of our family. We loved him like our own son and he was her best friend. As I write this I have tears running down my face. She is holding it together, but I am not. I realize it is probably for the best at this time but it just breaks my heart. I'm not sure why this one is so difficult for me rather than her but it sure is!

Then comes the concern of how do I support her? I love her so much and this is so hard. Anybody out there ever had to deal with this?? Any help would be greatly appreciated!!
XOP

16 comments:

Lynne (Lily's Quilts) said...

Oh my gosh, Pam, you poor poor thing. My kid are too small for love dramas thank goodness but I am beginning to realise that we suffer way more than they do with all their little ups and downs and this is a big down. I have no advice just sympathy and a shoulder to cry on, only I'm on the other side of the world :-( XOXOXOXO

Natalie said...

(((hugs)))

Mamacessories said...

I have been through this as a mom and a cousin! We love the people who love our family so break ups hurt us too. I remember how upset my mom was when my first marriage fell apart....it hurt her too! All I can say is listen to your daughter when she needs to talk...it is what I did with mine and my mom did with me. And cry for your loss too!
Hugs from here,
Maria

Impera_Magna said...

I agree with Mamacessories... when families break up, it hurts everyone in the family.

It's okay to grieve for the loss. Your daughter will need someone to listen and your friends can be there to listen to you.

Take care of yourself.

Kathy said...

It is awful to go through this....Just be there for your daughter and when you need to talk, reach out to your friends. When this happened in our family, there were nights I slept with my daughter as she cried herself to sleep...We were all devastated. Time heals and you can lean on each other. Hugs to all of you!

Robyn said...

I had a reverse situation with my DD recently. BF had finished Uni and accepted a job a long way off and he was the one who couldn't deal with the distance. I had the tearful phone call and the consoling session but DD was ok once she'd aired her grief at the immediate 'loss'. They are still good friends and keep in touch via phone and email when their busy lifestyles allow it and they have agreed between themselves to see other people though neither of them seems to have 'fallen' for anyone else. If your DD and her BF can still be friends it will either make them or break them as they know so much about each other already. My DD and her (ex?)BF are still best friends first and that's what I feel a relationship is really built on so I hope that one day I'll be his MIL!

Sue said...

I've been there. My son and his partner split after 9 years. She was like a daughter to me, worked for me in my business and was my friend.
I still miss her five years later.

dot said...

It takes time. I still miss my daughters first husband. They dated for about a year than were married for a year. It has probably been 10 years since the divorce but I think of him often and pray for the best for him. I don't know if it ever gets better but as they say time heals all wounds. I am sorry to read of this because I know how you feel.

Mary on Lake Pulaski said...

Hey Pam - hope it bets easier as time goes on.

Brenda said...

Been here before with my daughters. Very hard place to be for sure. Sorry to here this.

Allie said...

I'm so sorry Pam...not been through this YET although I know it'll be hard. Big hugs, hon. Just be there for if she wants to talk.

Crispy said...

The only long term breakup my son had was a good thing, nice girl, just the wrong one for him. It's better the kids do this now than to find out later. Go ahead and cry it out Mom, it's hard to see the good ones go.

Crispy

Rae said...

I can’t give any advice from the Mom side of things, but it'll get easier as time goes on. It’s hard after so long, especially when you’re the family part, not the couple. But just wait, she'll find a great new guy someday (or they'll work this out when they can be closer to each other)

Mama Koch said...

My BIL divorced his first wife and we had grown up together. It was very hard, but life goes on.
Just be there for her and try not to cry too many tears!

MollyP said...

It's amazing how a break up between two people can affect so many. After graduation, I accepted a job out of state and moved away. My BF of 9 years (yeah 9) and I tried to make it work, but rarely got to see each other. We were best friends, grew up together, lived down the street from each other... he and my dad went on camping trips together. We didn't know how to live not together, but the distance was killer. He chose to break it off. We tried to be just friends, but it killed me to not say "I love you" before we hung up the phone. After a few months, I told him I needed a break. It was too hard to be just friends. About a month later, he showed up on my doorstep. Less than a year later we were married. You never know what God has in store and sometimes you have to feel the hurt to know what you're missing. Who knows what will happen between your 2. Love 'em, hug your baby girl, and be there to talk. My dad was wonderful through the whole thing. Open arms and prayer can get us through so much in life.

Gail said...

I've gone through this with my DD but not for distance reasons. She was the one who ended a long-term relationship with a young man I liked very much and thought would be my SIL someday.
I think it was harder on me than it was on her and it took me a long time to get over it.

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