Thursday, October 16, 2008

Blog Friends

I don't have any photos to share today but an interesting conversation came up at the CHV quilt group last night and I wondered if any of you have had the same experience. Ruth-Ann (Miss No Blog) and I were talking about a blog we both read and the woman that writes it when one of the CHV quilters asked me if I believe everything the bloggers I read write about themselves and their families. Quite frankly it never occured to me that any of you would lie about yourself or your families. So that's what I said, "why wouldn't I believe what they say?" and she asked me why would you?

It is an interesting concept and just why do we all put so much on our blogs about ourselves and our families and our lives? Why do I do it? I really had to think about that. I suppse I do it to share what I know about the quilting I do, to share what I know as a mom and wife and a friend. I like to make new friends and love to learn new things and to open myself up to hear what others have to say. Sometimes it helps to solidify what I already think or believe and sometimes it helps me refine myself and my opinions and honestly, you guys are a lot of fun!

How many of you have met another blogger and become even better friends? It is kind of like in the old days (when I was a little girl) and had a penpal, but I can have so very many MORE penpals (aka blogger friends) now with the advent of the conputer and the internet. As I spoke about all of this I realized that there are quite a few of you that have become a real friend even though you do not live near to me. I would love to be able to meet you guys in person some day. I have already met 2 of my blogger friends and we had a great time.

I would love to hear what you all have to say about this too.

36 comments:

Pat said...

I like your idea of comparing blogging to having pen-pals (like we had in the "old days"....as my kids call the time when I was young). We'd not have known then if our pen-pals were telling the truth, either, but it was fun. I'm like you and tend to believe what people say about themselves. I say....carry on the way you have been doing and don't let that friend sour you on having fun with your blogging. (I'm going to learn how to do a blog yet so I'll have one, too!!)

The Calico Cat said...

I don't lie on my blog - my memory isn't that good...

& For the most part, I don't believe that the bloggers that I read are liars either, but...
there have been some that made me question it just seems too rosy in some households (no blogs/names mentioned).

Then there are the ones where everything is 3 steps away from "my name is..." so why would they be honest about anything else...

& then there are the ones that are "JUST" cooking - they almost drive me nuts in there sterility... I'd rather read a lie about their perfect kids mixed in too...

Just my opinions... & I read fiction - so a fictional blog could be right up my alley.

The Calico Cat said...

Oh & when did everyone get so cynical? Assuming that bloggers are lieing...

She must have been reading one of those rosy blogs that makes you think - "can someones life be that perfect?"

Elaine Adair said...

I would never THINK of telling a lie! Bloggers remember what you say, and sometimes comment later, or ask a question. I am ME! Oh sure, I might not photo the dirty corners of my house, and I might sugar coat a particular issue, but I've never lied. Imagine, someone thinking that? What would be the point? Perhaps that person is mixing up 'perverts' stories with bloggers stories?'

Elaine Adair said...

... furthermore, family members read these things also! some issues I just don't mention, like arguments, or job difficulties ... those are personal and what is the point of causing distress to others?

Wow, this got me to thinking!

Annemiek said...

I don't lie on my blog, but i agree with Elaine: i don't talk about arguments, family difficulties etc. That's private not something for the whole world to read about. I also do NOT photograph dirty corners etc. in my house. So yes, you polish in the same way you clean house when you expect visitors/guests.
There's however NO pic of me on my blog. That makes you wonder.....!

Kim said...

Funny someone would think that what bloggers write might be lies! Lying on a blog seems like too much work to me for no real return. Yep, life isn't always all rosy, but I figure my blog readers aren't reading my blog to get depressed, so I try to keep it light, but that's not to say that I don't share the "real life" stuff when it happens if it really has an impact on me.

As far as finding friendships through blogging--you're right about that! I found that out first through an online quilting group I belong to when 18 of us met--mostly for the first time--at a quilt retreat. It really felt like we'd known one another and been friends for years. So, most definitely--just because I'm not sitting at your kitchen table, drinking a cup of coffee and chatting with you in person, doesn't mean we don't exchange thoughts and ideas like anyone with an "up close and personal" relationship--we just do it long distance!

Kim said...

P.S.: (Isn't it funny how many of us had to add a second comment?! LOL!) Many of my family members and friends read my blog, so I don't think I could get away with lying if I wanted to--LOL!

i am very mary said...

OK, the cat is out of the bag. I am a 69-year old man serving a life sentence in an Alabama prison for molesting farm animals.

sewprimitive karen said...

All the pitiful revelations I have on my blog are true, true, true :-)!

LuAnn said...

I think bloggers and quilters are kind of the same. When we meet even though we are total strangers somehow we are kindred spirits. I think that is why we share so much on our blogs. I go to a Dear Jane retreat twice a year here in Indiana. Many of us have become friends and write and call often. By the way, I notice your Sarah Palin photo on your blog. My DH and I have been at a Sarah Paliln rally here in Noblesville this afternoon. I'm still wearing my Sarah button. I enjoy your blog.

Isabella said...

Whats the point in lieing on a blog? its out there for everyone to see including your friends/family. I dont even think that anyone would bother we all just say it like it is. we may not tell how much reverse stitching we do LOL but thats about it and in my opioion thats not even lieing by omitance.

Lynne in Hawaii said...

I believe what I read in the blogs. These are online journals. So much of what happens to us or around us, the decisions we make, the lives we touch have an impact on a craft. I enjoy reading (no blog myself yet) of like minded people enjoying quilting and family. These are important aspects of my life. Keep it coming! Go Sarah!

andsewitis Holly said...

It never crossed my mind that anyone would lie on their blog. I'm so gullible, I believe anything. LOL

jacquie said...

interesting post...thought provoking too. i was nervous about starting a blog..i'd been warning my kids for years about folks on the internet...me saying "you never know who those people really are". my son would tell me about a girl he chatted with about his music in norway and i would always say...you THINK it's a girl in norway. until i actually was online myself i discovered that most folks are essentially good people and some are exceptionally generous and kind. my blog is simply a journal for me...i write what i want to write. i don't share deeply personal things. writing is cathartic for me so i do write about things that trouble me sometimes, but i try to keep it about my quilting. i don't think you can get a true picture of people or their lives from a blog simply because folks are multi dimensional. you just get a peek.
i like to think folks are telling the truth...i try to think the best of people. most of the time they don't disappoint me.

Tanya said...

Yes, this is very much like pen friends. And I like being able to see pictures and share my own.

I guess the only thing I'm not really honest about are the arguments I might have with hubby. I figure who wants to hear that anyway. I don't even tell my kids about that!

I have met two blogger/friends thanks to the computer and that was wonderful!

Quilt Hollow said...

Blogging for me started out as lurking. I learned who had become friends with who through blogging and also learned that for the most part bloggers didn't even know each other personally but through blogging they formed wonderful friendships. Because I'm previously a military spouse there has been alot of moving about for me until now; we are finally settled. Blogging is a way to keep connected with many friends past, present and future. Everybody in the family reads the blog so I keep certain things out that need not be mentioned and I try to keep mine mainly to my feelings and thoughts of my family and of course my love of quilting. One thing I learned is quilt bloggers are sharing people. I love to see swaps and sharing of patterns and ideas. Better yet, as we bloggers post "other bloggers" happenings it just widens the doors for more friends and opportunity to meet in person. BTW...found this posting through Kim's Big Quilting Adventure...while not knowing her personally....I enjoy her blog and feel I know her.

tami said...

She was probably coming from the place of watching To Catch a Preditor on tv. With most of the blogs I read I have no idea what the point of fabricating would be. They would have nothing to gain by making things up. I don't consider leaving out family difficulties as not truthful. No one claims to share their ENTIRE life in their blog.
I enjoy reading blogs mostly for inspiration. It's also very cathartic to read about others who get bogged down with real life and can't spend as much time as they would like with their crafts or can't seem to stop themselves from amassing more and more fabric. Although if there were someone out there with sinister intentions against quilters all they would have to do is post about a HUGE fabric liqidation somewhere and lure us all away. But I think maybe they would be underestimating a group of quilters denied a promised fabric sale and wouldn't fare very well in the end. :D

Vicky said...

Lying on your blog is a little like cheating at solitaire, isn't it?

Crazy for Primitive Quilts and Gardens said...

Great topic! Okay... as for lying. Nope! If something unhappy happens (I have 3 teen daughters... unhappy can be a staple around here) I don't post about that stuff. Who wants to read a bunch of depressing stuff? My blog is my quilting life journal, about the things I WANT to remember, not the things I would like to forget! And I do have a friend or two from "real life" that reads my blog... I find sometimes I have to watch what I say about my shopping habits because I don't want them to know!! So while I am guilty of omission, I am never guilty of lying. It's my blog.. why would I lie to myself?

MichelleB said...

I'm here from Kim's too! I blog because I don't know many (any?) quilters/sewers, and it's my way to connect with them. I'm not really sure what they would lie about. Kim might be lying about how much she cleans her house - but I kind of doubt it. They might lie about the projects they've made - but again, why? There might be other types of blogs that are not craft oriented, where it might be more beneficial to lie. But I really only read craft blogs.

I have met three online friends - and they have all been wonderful. I have also had online friends that don't want to meet - and that really makes me wonder about whether they are genuine or not.

debijeanm said...

Just tell them Kim sent me.

I don't lie in my blog. It is pretty much my personal journal, and since I want it to remind myself of life's events it would be pretty stupid to lie.

However, once I realized people were actually reading it, I became more careful about revealing thoughts and feelings (like, venting frustrations) that might be hurtful to the ones I love. If I have entries that I wouldn't want them to stumble upon, I'll make them private.

I value the friends I've made in blogland and absolutely accept that what they are telling me is the truth.

C'mon. Nobody would make that stuff up (and with photos, to boot.)

Judy said...

Hi, came over from Kim's blog....very interesting to think about. I've been blogging for almost 3 years as have lots of the bloggers I read. I doubt anyone could remember all the lies they told over and over on any extended length of time. Too hard to do and why would you? I agree I don't share intimate details or write depressing posts, but I've shared a lot.

I think only someone who would think about lying on their blog would immediately suspect everyone else is lying too.

Nan said...

I came over from Kim's blog too. How interesting that someone would think bloggers are telling falsehoods about themselves. I never thought about it that way! Why would they? I read others' blogs for inspiration, and another point of view on life. I don't care how exciting their life is. I look at it as a window into someone's world, and I love that I'm allowed to be there. I have met a couple of bloggers, and have found them to be everything their blogs 'advertised'. It's wonderful to have friends who share my interests, even if they live far away. Blogging is something I've thoroughly enjoyed, and it has made my world a much better place!

Penni said...

Kim sent me. I guess the only lying I do on my blog is by omission (I don't tell the names of my kids for safety and I don't reveal personal info about others like arguments or disagreements because they could be embarrasing or hurtful to others). I suppose that could be lying but I think only if it is meant to deceive and not to protect. My blog is dedicated to fun and happy thoughts and that should be the subject matter. You could always create a blog about depressing facts and ugly thoughts and things that aren't funny but who would read it. We get enough of that. My blog is a celebration of my life's graces, my love and business of quilting and to the possiblity of new friendships. Get over it Miss Negative GrumpyPants. Some people are just happy (for the most part anyway)... and my new friends... just like in life, there is always someone that wants to rain on the good spirits of the day. Life is so busy nowadays and we hardly have time for our families, let alone building friendships. Blogging is a way to use the internet for good; to connect with people of similar backgrounds and interests. I have enjoyed getting to know many of you through your online diaries (some more than others) and I look forward to getting to know you and all the great things you have to share. I hope you enjoy me too and if you don't then you can take me off your favorites and I won't even have to know. Thanks for reading and commenting and giving me something entertaining to do when I don't have the energy for anything else. XOXOXO

MARCIE said...

I don't lie on my blog and I don't bring out dirty laundry, as they say. Most blogs are happy places to visit, but of course I am talking about quilter's blogs, and quilting brings us joy and satisfaction. It never occurred to me that anyone would lie, altho I do think Kim has an over-active imagination! I love that your question has generated so much conversation. (What was the question again?)

Eileen said...

OK, here is another friend of Kim's. She is the first real friend I have made via the internet.She is just like she talks. No lies there.Although I am old enough to be her Mother we talk at least twice a day. First thing in the morning and the last at night. Among my quilting friends I don't think any of them lie. Maybe stretch it a little as to how much sewing they get done in a certain time.
Very good post Mama, aren't you glad that Kim reads it and passes along your link?

Paula said...

I wonder about people who find bad, negative things to say, people who think others aren't honest. It never occurred to me to lie. I don't have a spotless house, we eat junk food, and sometimes we argue, I just figured that was normal, boring stuff that no one wanted to hear about. I try to stick to quilting and happy thoughts. We all have bad things that we could share, but we don't because we're grownups, we don't spew frustrations on everyone, we keep them to ourselves and deal with it. Thanks for making me think.

quiltmom said...

HI Mama Spark,
I was a lurker for a long time and content to be one but as a young girl I had written lots of letters to penpals all over the world. I recently have taken the leap into blogland and have enjoyed the experience. I have met some very nice people that i would not have met...People have been most welcoming in blogland and I enjoy meeting new quilters around the globe.
I like to take people at face value meaning that I believe what they say until circumstances tell me differently.
I went to the blogs that I felt a connection with- people who enjoyed life and quilting. Like others, I believe that the blog belongs to the writer. As a writer you can choose to write whatever you want. I choose to talk mostly about quilting- maybe because I am private person and don't feel comfortable talking about some things. That is not to say that my own house doesn't have its share of challenges - we do, but so far that is not what I have chosen to write about. I agree that it seems crazy to think that someone would want to take the time to write something that was full of lies. It would take more time and energy than it was worth.
On another note, I have had the privelege of meeting two other bloggers in person. It was such fun and I have enjoyed my venture into blogland. I would not have met those ladies without the blogs. And like many others I came here through KIm's blog..
Thanks for the interesting dialog.
Regards from a western Canadian Quilter,
Anna

Pat said...

I started blogging for a sense of 'community'...little did I realize that my 'community' would reach around the world! The blog also helps to keep me motivated and 'on track' with my sewing :)

I don't purposely lie on the blog but people do read it that receive the quilts I show so...maybe a little absence of the whole truth occasionally :)

Plus, I had a fun time when I got to meet you in person because I already feel like we are friends through our shared interests and experiences!

Janet said...

What an interesting discussion! I came over from Kim's blog too. I wouldn't lie on my blog - what would be the point? I haven't put much personal stuff into my blog yet (I'm still a pretty new blogger) but I liked the comment someone made about blogs being our own to put what we want to in them. I love the connections made with people through blogging. It would never occur to me to think someone would lie on their quilting blog.

BusyLittleQuilter said...

I came over from Kim's, too.

I don't lie on my blog either. I think if I posted information about a big zit growing on my forehead, that sometimes I cry when I see all the fabric and scraps that I have, my way of having people shoot my picture so my face doesn't sag, or my first experience with a hot flash, I'm honest.
I use blogging as a way to get away from things. Life is stressful. It helps a lot to be able to go and visit blogs to get a laugh, be inspired, and see what other people are doing. I don't blog every day like Kim does, but I hope that my blog inspires others. I couldn't do that and lie about it.

I,too, believe everything other bloggers say. I have been fortunate to meet blogging friends, as well as nationally known quilting people that have blogs. It's a fun expierence to meet someone that you have been blogging with for a few years. It is like seeing an old friend. I wouldn't meet other bloggers if I had been lying.

Natalie said...

This post still has me thinking, and I meant to join the conversation early on. I do not lie in my blog, but I am aware that it is easy to show the best and omit the rest. For the most part I am concerned about being vague on locations and names... no specifics.
This morning "Twiddletales" posted a link to something very sad and tragic ... it seems some bloggers do lie by omission and the details are horrible. Here is the link: http://twiddletails.blogspot.com/2008/10/sad.html
I guess we need to be cautious, and what else? I mean, how could this have been prevented? I suppose it's just a reminder that blogs really are representative of society... the good and bad.

Sparkle said...

I remember the good old days when you thought all people on The Internets were scary rapist murderers out to get everyone else on The Internets.

NOW WHAT IS LEFT FOR ME TO BELIEVE IN- WHAT HAVE I CREATED!!!

Your dear daughter,
Sparkle

jillquilts said...

Interesting post. I have met some blog friends in person and they have turned out to be awesome friends! I just spent the weekend with 2 in Wisconsin. Stayed at the one's house and everything. Not weird at all and just like a friend that I would've met in town. Now, I will say that I do know some people from my guild who started a blog and I don't care for the one lady IRL. Her blog is scary and like a train wreck - I can't not read it. The funny thing is, I know that she exaggerates IRL and she does the same on her blog, but it's to an nth degree. But I also think that anyone who has read her blog would be able to see that, too. I think that the 'crazies' will shine through.

Other than that, I never really gave it much thought as to whether people would lie on their blogs. I guess I am still really naive to think that everyone is generally good and doesn't make things up or lie about things that don't matter. It's not like they are really furthering themselves by telling a fib on their blogs so why do it?

Good question!

Mary said...

Interesting - I don't think people (well at least quilters) lie on their blogs but I get interesting comments sometime from people who assume they know ALL about me because they read my blog.

There's so much in my life that I don't share on the blog - the tough stuff - that it was kind of unnerving to realize that a lot of people have a fairly rosy picture of me. Not that life isn't good - it's just not all a bed of roses.

I do however tend to share personal things in response to comments to people I'm *close* to that I wouldn't post on the blog so they may have a more realistic picture of me.

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